I'm so bored. I'm stuck in college. I'm stuck in the web with a burping-girl sitting next to me. She has been burping for the past 15 minutes. What did she eat?!...*sniff sniff*...Ee-uu...I can only smell my wangi hair :P
I messaged ERIC TEH but he didn't reply me. Teh Thien Hong, I hope your car gets stuck in the workshop. I hope you read this Eric. For 13 years of friendship, you left me lonely in the web sitting with a burping girl. I've known him since Primary 1 and he supported Japan in the Worldcup...I still remember REVO owe me a meal. *You will be reading this as I am sending SMS linking you to my blog now.*
Overheard a conversation in the ladies. More to eavesdropped lar...But when you speak in public places such as the washroom you intended for someone to hear... Right? Right? So they were talking about this guy...The name I couldn't actually recall but sounded something like Ah-Chong (All the Ah-Chongs in the world, don't perasan)...*wtf max*...Apparently or OBVIOUSLY, one of them has a huge crush on him la...waiting for people outside library and all...How come no one does that for me?...(Because I am always IN the library...) Some more know what's people's break time. Nowadays girls also so skilled at courting already.
Everytime I mentioned a guy to my classmates...They'll ask: Long hair or short? Nice teeth?...Because those were my basic criteria...I am not attracted to guys with long hair. I am not in liking with guys who have bad teeth. Bad = super-duper yellowish...Not aligned never mind. No-one's perfect. I can't list out any other requirements because I really think that whatever I am setting now; my guy will probably be the exact opposite of everything. No Point. I want a guy smarter than me...I am very smart. I despise guys who wear butt-tight pants...it's not sexy...don't try to imitate Carlos (Typical name for gigolo) in Spanish movies...*pukes blood*. I don't like guys prettier than me because I want to be the pretty one and the guy being the handsome one. Ok lar...so far that's all. Hehe.
Example of long hair man.
Why am I so emotional bout all these? Probably because Sheela has Matt, Peiwen has someone and so does Vee. They're going to leave me...sob sob...HEHEHE...Chisin...Nothing to emo about. I have 3 guys at home. Papa Yap, Bro Yap Senior and Bro Yap Junior. Papa Yap holds the power and the other two is for me to demand around...normally demands not met.
How come everyone tells me they saw me in One Utama? Yeslar...I go there too often but so easy to spot meh?...I don't buy your story ah...don't think you tell me you saw me in OU means I will give you my number :P Sacred lar...Jeng Jeng. Must derive a super hard function for my HP number so that next time who wants my number has to solve it. Nyehehehe...smirking.
Peiwen darling...Happy Birthday. Despite having only a few wrinkles, you still look beautiful to me, because I am not wearing my spectacles...Tsk Tsk. I love you. And I owe you a present. Promise. Mine is on December 10, thank you very much. FedEx and Courier Service offer delivery services...even from Penang.
Let me teach you how to know when Nikki means what she says. When she puts a "Promise." behind her message, it's real for sure. Otherwise...don't count on it lar...
I want to go eat in AC. Tata.
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 5:40 PM
Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn (Shakespeare, 1697).
Don't ever provoke a girl...by any means. Especially not by saying, "You're fat". This phrase can send you straight to hell. "Fat" is a very sensitive word you know?
Allow me to enlighten you people (Referring to the guys). Words to be removed from the "Get-the-chic" dictionary include: chubby, cute, curvaceous, huggable, soft, tender...because we (girls) interpret it in a different way and all of them mean FAT. Alvin Leong Fun Sheet and I were chatting bout something to do with being fat.
Alvin: You are horizontal in that picture.
Nikki: Horizontal is fat. You saying I fat.
Alvin: Like that call fat? =.=
Nikki: I don't want to talk to thin people. (Alvin is anorexic...)
Alvin: I mean your position. If you fat, those fatter people are monsters...(Yer...so discriminating wan).
Nikki: Nola...I chubby. Not fat. Cute mah.
Alvin: Cute la. Cute la.
Nikki: HOR!...you say I fat. Cute = fat.
Alvin: Doesn't mean that way also. You say wan.
Nikki: SHO SHAD la...I'm fat. I can't eat eggs (So random wan lor...). I can't fit into a pelampung. I can't sit swing. I can't wear heels.
Alvin: =.= OMG...Oklar, not fat. You want to see fat? The one on the XXXXX...***This whole section is filtered because it will end Leong Fun Sheet up in BIG trouble, I don't want that.***
The horizontal picture that made me "fat"...I bought it :P
Conclusion, whenever a girl asks you "Am I fat?", don't even think, say NO. It'll save you a whole lot of "listening-to-complaints" time.
Jeng Jeng. Presenting Eugene Heng's brand new PDA model - Nokia PWP (Poke With Pen). Let me re-introduce Eugene to all of you.
Obsession(s): The University of Tasmania, located on an isolated island flooded with penguin and the entry requirement is extremely low. The horrible part? He's interested in the penguins. The Theory of Evolution as proposed by Charles Darwin. He can't live without a day associating classmates (KEITH) with primates. The Art of Tsun Tzu - Very business minded indeed. Has a popular forum:
This is how he con our money.
Nokis PWP (Press With Pen)...(-_-")
Okay, back to Nokia PWP...limited edition. Last week, we noticed that part of his keypad chipped off, so he poked his way through with a pen. It was dumb. Couple of days ago, the whole keypad was removed and he was holding a pen in his hand full-time, obviously for the hand-phone. His phone was keypad-less and looked exactly like a PDA, the way he handled it. Out of a sudden, he said it was amazing that he could remember all the keys on the phone. Vee Lyn gave him the...WTF face and replied: "All the phone pads also like that right? One to nine..."...WAHAHAHA. I'm going to leave the pants tore story. Eugene will kill me.
Nice leh my chessboard. But i don't know how to play...Harry Potter wan also lose er...
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 9:42 PM I was chatting with Piao Ching earlier and he told me he just came back from a convoy. So the very innocent (Nice way to describe jakoon...) me asked, "What's a convoy?" ...because I have absolutely no idea what is it and the only thing that came across my mine was lots of sushi on the conveyor belt. Now that I was told that a convoy is like a meeting / grouping, however you like to put it...and what they did was cruising around town in a group of 40 and went to the beach... I also want to join one lar!!! Too bad, I don't have a Putra.
Doesn't matter. I am going to establish my own club. The Michelin Club. I'll be the president and the president has the say. Since I don't officially have my own car yet and you can't call it Michelin Club without the tyres...I have decided that our gathering activities involve running around town with Michelin around the waist. People going to look also mah...Correct or not Piao Ching? The plus side is...we also get to go to the beach. Better still, we get to go into the sea because Michelin is around the waist. We take it to a higher level. Putra Club / Hotshots / Kenarians...all lose lar...
Yes...Vote for me - Choki-choki Ajinomoto.
Over here in the Michelin Club we don't race car wan...we make it easier...Tyre-rolling competition. See whos' tyre roll the fastest means if put in on the car also the car will be the fastest lar....why race car?...Later *Boom*Bang*Crash*...AHHH! Kaki patah and kepala meletup.
I'd better tell you this before Vee Lyn does it in her post. Self-embarrassment is the only way to walk over the shame. I happily volunteered to drive all of us to One Utama on Saturday. All was well throughout the journey, until we reached the car park. While approaching the ticket machine, Jeffrey told me to switch lane (Last minute...damn random lor you...) and of course the car ended up in a very ugly position. I couldn't reach the machine!!! The window was down, seat belt was released, half my body was out of the window and I still couldn't reach the machine!!! Fine lar like that nevermind. My "Touch n Go" card was not working. I had to open the door and stepped out for the ticket. I swear the Kelisa girls behind me laughed.
I think we all had enough of exams. We were all behaving oddly. Peiwen has the ability to burp whenever she wants and she kept doing it. So it was "burp" + hehehe + "burp" + hehehe...continuously. And I was in a very serious mode trying to pick up the burping technique but nevertheless I failed. Vee Lyn had a real bad stomach ache and hugged a pole for a really long time. At first, we were stranded in the toilet for quite some time until an unpleasant aroma filled the air and we were forced to leave. I was bored and started showing Peiwen my nose muscle exercise. It was developed because I personally think that it will help to narrow my nose = prettier mah...There I was next to Vee hugging the other side of the pole and exercised my nose (series of contracting the muscles)...Then, a lady passed by and stared at me for a pretty long time which I couldn’t figure out why until I realized my nose muscles were still in exercise. That was why she stared at me...Never see before people exercise nose muscle while hugging a pole ah?! ...Jakoon.
This is snuffle. Vee's baby. Very bulu-ful and hump-ful.
Example of a bad photo where everyone is sesat.
A better one.
Not tooth-ache lar...conflicting whether to puchase or not.
I really hate exams. You can't judge one's ability and intelligence through scores. That's just plain shallow. Apparently, the whole world is...Sigh...I need to get my beauty sleep. Deprived. Back to study.
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 3:58 AM
I know I've been very irresponsible lately hardly updating my blog. Let me remind you again I am very good at multi-tasking, so I'm going to blog while eating my Maggi Laksa (secret recipe)...First, cook the maggi until separuh masak (Steak meh?!)...Then, drain off water and add milk...yes the moo-moo milk. After that, add seasoning (Maggi Curry)...Tadaa! You get Maggi Laksa. Maggi Laksa is also my remedy for constipation as it contributes to 1-day diarrhea. NO lar...joking.
Oklar..honestly, I am very lazy to tell stories. There's a saying that goes "A picture speaks a million words"... Just look and give yourself some room for imagination lar...For the first time, you can tell you own story...
Hello, my name am Choki-choki Ajinomoto and I is the President of Japan. I is promise all of you that one day sushi will be distributed for free and everyone must use SK II. And I is hunting for the lady in the background to be assassinated because she destroyed my picture...*Full of crap. Japan where got president*... This was to check the lightings. Haih...my smile is so charming = use colgate *Blushes*...The sun also shine for me...(WTF like a guy trying to sweet talk a girl lor...)...
Sometimes friends fight too. Nola we were too bored and the cones were around. We couldn't carry cars or trees you see. And the cones were heavy too...
The cute dimple guy. We don't know him at all but we kind of jumped into the picture because everyone has dimples...No lar... Peiwen doesn't has any. I have one on my right because I always poke with pen. I'll do it to my left side also lar...
Peiwen...constipated ah? Hehe.
Yes lar...we like to camwhore lar...when you have it, flaunt it...correct?
I am in a very sober state now. Sober in Nikki's dictionary means very tired, stoned, constipated, sleepy, back pain...So, going to bed. Night :)
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 11:37 PM
"Nikki you need to grow taller".
I am not tall, I know. Don't need to constantly remind me. But I am happy with the way I am mar...That's the most important of all isn't it? Being not tall comes with whole lot of advantage okay?...And I have scientific back-ups wan lor...
Firstly, being not tall means the risk of being strike by high-voltage flow of charges a.k.a lighting is DAMN low. Correct or not?...Lighting "prioritize" taller objects mah. This indicates that shorter people indeed have higher chances of survival.
Nowadays, damn lot of inter-country dissatisfaction = WAR. Haiyo, don't say Malaysia peaceful lar...Our turn will come. Again, the shorter people have an advantage. Why? Because ang-mo all tall tall right...then when they fire guns all also the vertical displacement will be BEYOND our range. So shorter people can walk around freely and still stay alive while bullets are flying above our heads. What happen to the tall people? All kena bullet and mati kong-kiao...(Ehehe...curses...SHO BAD)...
I knew it!!! Some of you going to counter with Napoleon right? I don't know how he died lar. But if he was sacrificed in the war I also got explanation for that. He was short alright but you need to know hor...things happen in life. Opposing armies also have short ones okay?...Maybe that's how he died lar. Level mar...attack then die lor.
*Damn manglish lar this post* If you notice...I like to illustrate.
Some more right, shorter people are more stable because our centre of gravity is nearer to the ground hence we don't fall that easily. Vern Xi is exceptional lar... "I won't fall down wan!!!"...the next thing you hear *Boom*Bang*Crash*...Vern Xi on the floor.
Must come up with more disadvantages of being tall!!! *Thinks real hard*...AHAK!...Easier to kena bird droppings. (Now that reminds me that my cheeky classmates once asked a substitution EST teacher what is bird-droppings...She answered "Itu burung terbang jatuh kot...") May all the bird-shits land on taller people...
See nature is favouring the shorter people hence natural selection is taking place. One day all the alleles catering for great heights will be rotated out of the gene pool...Then evolution takes place where the earth is only safe for not tall people and they will survive, interbreed and produce fertile offsprings. *Too much of biology studies*...
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 10:08 AM (Jeng Jeng Jeng Jeng)...I can feel my abdominal two-packs forming. Nope, I don't workout for it. I got it by laughing a lot. Particularly at Peiwen and Keng Heng's attempt to communicate in Cantonese. Half the time they don't know what they were talking about; the other half were TOTALLY out of tune and the pronunciation was horrible. Not that my Cantonese super chun lar...but I'm the best among the three.
PW: Lei ho ma? Ngor ho ho. (How are you? I am fine)
KH: Har? (Paused)...Oh oh...er, ngor do ho ho. (I am fine too)
PW: Yii? lei sek gong gong dung wa ma? (You can speak Cantonese?)
KH: Er...Er...Emm (Nodded)...ngor sek...(Yes)
And the rest of the conversation is very much a repeating of the above.
There was a charity play "Mousetrap", the murdering mystery by Agatha Christie in college last night. Eugene Heng persuaded us to go for it by telling us it will be damn good a play. I am not into literature you see, the same goes for Peiwen and Alvin. Once the play started, Peiwen and I exchanged glance and swore to kill Eugene. We were pretty far off the stage and we couldn't catch the lines...the sound system was not properly calibrated (Couldn't find the word lar...) or perhaps I'm just accustomed to people talking loudly...
During the second half of the play, Peiwen and I entertained ourselves by playing with Nips (Kacang wrapped in chocolate). We stuffed 6 or 7 into out mouth, started talking to each other and laughed non-stop. God knows how the Nips ended up on the carpet...Thanks to Alvin Leong Fun Sheet and Alice Tan Pei Wen. Then, the three morons peeped under the chairs and giggled all the way.
The Masterpiece.
I'm in fatigue lar...study for trials like mad. Yes lar... I very kiasu lar...Furthermore, I don't pay to fail okay? But I am easily distracted by objects and unimportant events surrounding me. This is the routine: Open text book; study for 10 minutes; feel hungry; cook maggi - decided that I should make full use of the makan-time by multitasking = turn on TV = watch for 2 hours ;decided too full to study; walk around and do dumb things. In the end, stuck at the same page for 3 days. I've been staring at the same sentence for 3 days. SHO SHAD lar.
See? Distraction.
I also want to be indian...
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 9:45 AM
Okay lar...My bosoms pretty much started the controversy in my tagboard (Which is so messy right now...Boohoo...). Practically half of the earth's populations have them just in different sizes. I can't figure out why is it such a big deal. Furthermore, I don't understand the mentality of those people who feel that there's a need to publicly comment on it as if the whole world needs to know. Perhaps it's just plain out of ordinary or perhaps that fellow's just a bit concern...I don't have breast cancer thank you.
Now that reminds me of something else. I have a bunch of breast-obsessed gang in college. Consist of few very boobily perverted girls that enjoy boob-watching and I'm in the club. Our daily routine involved standing at the corridor and scanning for boobilicious girls, guessing their sizes / the type of bra they wear by the shape of the boobs.
Asam-mou-lou-kung
WAHAHA...Peiwen's attempt to look like a flower.
Vee Lyn a.k.a woman (In saree). Profession: Cockstaring. Can be extremely ganas when irritated. Overused phrase: Macau sea + Lan jiao +Motherfugging S-hole + Do I look like I give 5 fucks. Can't live without DARK purple. Wants to be an Indian...Her one stare can scares the salesman FAR FAR away...My one stare ended me up with cookies from the charity drive...Very animated when gossiping.
Sheela a.k.a woman (In beige). Profession: Blurring. I resort never to teach her anything anymore because the next minute she will tell me she forgets everything. Petrified by cats...and kittens. Nicknamed Tiny because she's very petite. Typical question: *Puzzled frown + smile* "Why?"...When she calls me...I just need to pick up and reply "C27". She doesn't know classes...also once labeled Chapalang (Mix blood).
Peiwen a.k.a woman (also) or Alice...hehe (Left back one also you cannot tell meh?). Profession: Drama-queening. Always late for class. Overused phrases: You ass! / Ma Cibai / Am I suppose to laugh?...Mandarin out of tune gao gao. Don't know why elected class-treasurer. Can be very emotional at times. Afraid of cats as much as Sheela does. She's amplified.
OWH...one more...PENNY. The boob-grabber. Whenever she sees me "Nikki come"...I'll be telling myself "Nikki run". Sei hum sap por...(Ei,why I developed the habit of using Sei Humsap somebody...because there's too much humsap people around me...) Again barking dogs don't bite...so fear not :)
Oklar...we also stalk couples lar...can't blame us what...they show excessive public affection. If don't want people to see why show? So we happily spectate while sipping on our milo ais lar...No need to hug hug and kiss kiss so many times. We can tell you're together if you hold hands okay? You know ah...people all want to makan but when you hug and kiss and this and that ah...my food might end up in your face. Like Vee said: Get a room. We are Asians! We must remain conservative or at least semi-conservative. *Political spirit strikes*
Okay...I want to semangat Physics now.
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 10:07 AM Yes la...
I kena saman lar...*Crowd pauses and applauses*...
Very funny meh? Papa Yap also laughed at me.
I very proud okay?...My very first ticket.
Jenis kesalahan:
09 (c) - Tiket dipamerkan dalam keadaan yang tidak dapat dikenal pasti atau dilihat oleh atendan letak kereta.
Ceh...like that also against the law.
I must take revenge.
I must make sure everybody get samans also.
Oklar...I cheated lar...I didn't pay for the parking.
I do it 4 days a week. Meaning I only pay for one day and re-use the same parking ticket every other day.
You think money easy to earn ah?...You think still got a lot of 50 cents ah?...You think coins smell very nice ah?...You think...You think...You think err...Parking ticket not made of paper ah...You think still got a lot of trees ah?...
Can't blame me okay.
I was once cheated by the machine near 7-11.
Inserted 4 bucks...keyed in car plate number...the screen showed "Processing Ticket"
After 5 minutes still processing obviously something damn wrong right?...
Then had to rush to another machine on the other end of the road with 2 bucks (was late for class and no time to search for coins)...
I felt so betrayed you know...
To make things worse ah...this china-beng (Chinese Ah-Beng) who drove a Black Mercedes slowed down...looked humsaply at me and said "Nice boobs".
Instantaneously the Macau Sea expression was on my face...If you don't know Macau Sea = macauhai (Girl not suppose to curse okay?)...But we can't show our uneasiness you know...otherwise that fella will be damn satisfied. So I replied "I know"...Sei Hum Sap Lou. Hope you crash.
Wahahaha...some friend was saying "aishiteruyo"...meaning I love you in Japanese.
But all i can think of is...I wanna shit...cause ai-shit-teruyo...
SIGH...my tagboard is now more interesting than my rants...
Vixen was brutally tortured... brutally murdered... on 9:51 PM
